Humble me. again.

Every summer turtles cross our road where stream meets lake, after laying their eggs up on the sand. I'm happy to report I haven't seen a smashed one yet in the years that I've lived here. Last year when I encountered one on Cape Cod, a passerby warned me that helping it cross the road or touching it was against environmental laws. After all, we can't assume to know where they're going. I was curious as to whether this one was a snapper or box turtle. She allowed me close inspection and a photo without flash. Then we both went on our ways. I felt a kinship with her.

I'm pretty slow these days, slow in thought, word and deed. I'd like to think I'm more careful before speaking or doing, but I'm afraid that probably isn't so. I'm just slower witted, making different mistakes, not fewer.

This week I was in a minor collision in a parking lot. I thought I had hit a vehicle as I backed out of my spot, and once aware of that, hopped out of my car to see the damage and apologize. The owner of the other vehicle was quick to place blame and I was quick to assume it. I worried that it would have been horrible had it been a pedestrian instead of a car.

Two witnesses stepped forward to say they had seen the whole thing, that we had BOTH backed out while looking over our shoulders and missed seeing the other one. Bad timing and bad technique. But both witnesses were adamant that it was No Fault. One witness stayed to report to the police who came to the scene. He wanted to give his account and name.

Still, it is alarming to me how slow I was to take in the information that the witnesses provided. I was too emotionally distraught to allow my mind to function properly. Not till I was home replaying the whole event, did I realize the witnesses were seeing what I couldn't see, eager to report on my behalf. I'm left feeling not only naive but unsure if I would handle it any differently in the future. How much of my mind do I control?